Someone has been stealing puppies from your town at night. You and a crack team of investigators (concerned people from the neighbourhood and your friends) have decided to figure out the crime when the police couldn’t. What do you do and how do you solve it?
For this piece of writing I would like you to include three examples of passive voice.
Year 6 Blog 
I would get all the people who had the puppies stolen and asked them what they had heard or seen and i would also check their houses. what did the dog do i asked she exclaimed” my cheek was always being licked by the dog i searched the house and found that a piece of dog hair was on the girls bed i said”suspicious” so the suspect might be Evangeline.
i would to a new house then and do the exact same thing with her house and see if she has some links with the dog napper
and the people who haven’t got their puppies stolen i would get them all out of their houses and search them for any clues(might be illegal ) and if i do find any clues like a robber hat i will take them to court but if not i will check all the houses and if i find woofing noises i will find the dog and i will sentence them to 3 years in jail that is how i would deal with the problem that is my style of dealing with a problem so it could be different.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Good attempt at using passive voice Malaki. Remember to ALWAYS use a capital letter for the pronoun I. Thank you for completing the blog.
LikeLike
Investigators (Josh, Susan, Oliver, Lucy)
Josh, Susan, Oliver and Lucy split up and go to the houses that have been burgled and look for clues. They find out where all the puppies live in the area. They that they’re going to watch the houses and use cameras. The cameras are bought by Josh and Oliver and they set them up. The cameras are controlled by Susan and Lucy so if they see any strange activity they call the boys on their walkie-talkies and they go to the trouble. The following day, they watch the footage back, and the burglar is a local resident known to them.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Cameras are controlled by Josh and Lucy – great use of a passive sentence Harry-Joe. Gosh, can you believe the audacity of the burglar!
LikeLike
Nice writing Harry
LikeLike
Great to see that you are visiting the blog Jacob, it is lovely to get a comment from you. I hope you are enjoying secondary school. Mrs B
LikeLike
Intro
All of a sudden out of nowhere I heard big bang. I just let it fly by my mind though because it was 12 o clock at night. I just thought someone was getting a drink until the next morning…
I woke up and got ready for school. As soon as I started to walk down the stairs i could smell a horrible smell. It was like someone had invaded my house but left a horrible smell.Then I realised that buster our dog wasn’t there I supposed it all made sense now the banging in the middle of the night the horrible smell and buster going.
We went outside to phone the police but then we saw everyone else outside. Their puppies were STOLEN to. Everyone’s dogs on the street had been stolen. Everyone phoned the police. After 4 weeks of hard work the police gave up because it was hopeless.
So all of the street decided to create a crime scene investigation team. All of a sudden next doors cat licked Millie(sister)on the cheek,and next door but 1s hamster licked my mum on the cheek as well. Silence struck as Number 17s house phone rang.
It was a call from the mountain rescue service saying “we have found a dozen dogs that are just dumped in the mountains we are flying over now in our mil mi-8(helicopter). We will be there in 10 minutes. They came and handed over all of the dogs but there was some sad news 3 dogs sadly died from frostbite. All of a sudden buster came running over and he licked dads cheek but…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Your work is well punctuated Thomas. Here is a tip – only use contractions like wasn’t inside your inverted commas. Love the line ‘Silence struck as number 17’s phone rang.’ Good work.
LikeLike
Leo woke up feeling scared he quickly went down the creaking stairs to check on his puppy she wasn’t on here blanket or in the kitchen waiting for some food! Leo was in horror he decided to see if it had happened to is mates in his street they were Emily and Jack. Leo asked both but when they both looked in shame you could tell what had happened. had the same problem as he did. “Why don’t we investigate at night to see who this mysterious person who is stealing are puppies?”they both said “yes”
As the wonderful sun was disappearing it was time to investigate who had been stealing their puppies. they got their torches and looked around in their house and garden suddenly as they all came back to Leo’s there was a shadow on Jack’s torch of a man with a large bag on his bag he screamed “aaaaaaarrrrggggghhhhhhhh””the man screamed have you been being a horrid man and stealing are puppies” exclaimed Jack the Thief gave the puppies back and swore not to do it again.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m glad Leo discovered the perpetrator Aidan. Always go back and check your writing careful for errors.
LikeLike
There were some clues we found were on the same street the was dog fur leading towards an abandoned warehouse .The thief that stole the dogs were unable to be found and the fur trail ended at a pile of boxes then the boxes that was piled was taken apart and we found a puppy the puppy was found then given back to the owner when we found car tracks in the warehouse and we found that they ended at a lake, mud that was as deep as two meters and we saw footsteps to a hut so we sneaked to the hut. The hut that we had sneaked up on we looked through the window and saw the thief and the dogs. the hut full of the dogs and thief we broke the door down and stopped the thief from escaping and took the dogs of him and we arrested the thief and returned the dogs to there owners. 🙂 🙂 :p
LikeLike
An action packed ending to the problem Daemon. Always go back and check carefully paying attention to were/where and there/their. I can see that you have made several attempts to include passive voice.
LikeLike
some people have bin stealing puppies from my town. And me and my detective crew have decided to crack this case and ring the police when we found that animal napper
1 statement: “on my CCTV i saw some footage of my dog getting napped by a bold man that is all i saw oh and he came through the window.”
statement 2: “sadly i do not have CCTV but i have a clue to where he might be hiding there is a trail of dog hears leading to this van in the middle of Forrest and i heard some weird noises coming from the back of the van is sounded like some sort of animals crying. so i followed the hairs with my friends at my back i started running so did my friends and we came to a stop only to find out the hairs stopped… The trail stopped so i looked up was a van with its trunk open in lay the napper with the dogs. So my friends got the napper aid i got the dogs and gave them back one by one.
LikeLiked by 1 person
good one! 🙂
LikeLike
Several puppies were stolen from the town as soon as the investigation started the first clue was found by me in a block of flats on the elevunth floor their was heaps of fluff all over the place so I checked in the store cubourd for the whole floor and sure enough puppies were found but only 1/9. Shortly after I got a call saying that 5 of the puppies had been found in a cleaning cubourd in a blanket store! So then 6/9 but as I was sat Down my favourite of the puppies was being rather argrovating and my shoe was licked by him. That night I was in bed and I heard a window smash across the road silence.. then WOOF!!! The six dogs were barking madly! The puppies where being taken to the large warehouse! Suddenly the dogs kept nudging me! Luckily we got them all apart from one that was never found for some reason. . .
LikeLiked by 1 person
Lovely to see your work on the blog Jessica. Good attempt at using passive voice. Very good control of punctuation. You can still paragraph on the blog, just leave a line.
LikeLike
Late one evening we were awoken by police sirens. I wondered what was happening. My neighbour was upset as a thief had stolen her new puppy. That was the third puppy that had been stolen this week. The police couldn’t work out who was stealing the puppies quick enough so it was up to me and my amazing team of investigators to solve! (The investigators were amazing because they were chosen by me!!)
We decided to buy a puppy and make sure everyone knew we had one. We walked for hours between us around all the streets where we lived and spent ages throwing the ball on the park. Then we sat up at night in the dark waiting for the thief to turn up. It worked! The thief arrived and we pounced. The police came and arrested the thief who eventually told them where all the other puppies were. The puppies were handed back to their owners. The problem had been solved by me and my amazing investigators!!!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
An effective opening Olivia, I was hooked. Good use of informal and formal writing. Read through your writing continuously to check your tense. How can you change one of your sentences to passive voice?
LikeLike
“Has your dog been stolen? Do you want to be part of a crack team of investigators to help find the dog napper and the missing dogs? If you do, meet me at the community centre at 8.30pm. Don’t forget to bring dog treats and a torch.” This was the letter that I posted through everyones door on my estate. Now I just had to wait and see if anyone turned up.
The first person to come was my best friend Jake. We began to plan how to find the missing dogs by leaving a trail of dog treats on the pavement. Everyone had arrived expect for number 21 – was this suspicious?…
We all began the search by putting the dog treats on the floor hoping that the dogs would sniff them out. First one, then two then out of nowhere we heard a bark. All the dogs were racing towards us wagging their tails. Then one little boy whimpered “My dog is not here!” Suddenly we heard a squealing bark so me and Jake ran towards it. We saw a man dressed in black wearing a balaclava and carrying a swag bag. Without hesitation, Jake wrestled him to the ground and I pulled off the mask to find that it was the middle aged man who lived at number 21. Opening the bag, out popped the small dog licking my face. My suspicion was correct all along.
I phoned the police and the main was sentenced to jail. Me and Jake were interviewed for local news for being the dog rescuers. Everyone got their dogs back and the estate went back to normality.
LikeLiked by 1 person
A great opening paragraph to hook your reader Harry. Excellent use of paragraphs. Great variety of sentence starters. Jake and I or me and Jake? If you remove Jake from the sentence would it make sense? Can you change one of your sentences to passive voice? A great write Harry.
LikeLike
Thank you Miss.
“The mask was wrestled off the man by Jake.”
“The dogs were given back to the residents by the police.” Is this passive voice?
LikeLike
I woke up to the ‘trring trring trring!’ of my alarm clock in the morning. Just after I had got dressed for school I went to check on poppy but she wasn’t in her puppy basket! At school I could tell my friends, Fran, Ben and James, had had the same incidents too by the look of their depressed faces. After school the police were called by me. After a week of intense searching the police told us that they couldn’t catch the criminal dog-napper. The next day, we grouped together all the people who had lost their dogs and set out on the case, following a few traces of dog hairs. Eventually, we found that the trail stopped outside an abandoned glue-stick factory. Inside the factory, the robber gave a silent snigger and muttered something about selling these dogs for any bloke who would be foolish to buy this lot. Just then we burst in and tied up the kidnapper with some rope, called the police to say we had caught him and released every single puppy to its owner.
The case was solved!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Capital letter for names Samuel. Lovely vocabulary choices: intense, incidents, muttered. Can you use an example of passive voice? Glad to see that the case was solved. I look forward to reading your next blog.
LikeLike
THIEF IN TOWN
Out of the blue, a hooded figure strode swiftly up the pathway of 6 Willow Drive – which was known to be the home of the most conceited couple, the Blakemans, the subject of most gossip in the village. *The gateway was slid artfully through by the stranger. A few moments later he slipped back out through the gate clutching something close to his chest. Kayla, who had been watching from her window on the opposite side of the road, after hearing a commotion, was baffled. Something about the figure’s prowling walk seemed familiar, but she couldn’t quite put her finger on who he might be. Early the next morning, Kayla crept across towards the vast expanse of number 6. She was greeted with a muffled cry of despair as the woman of the house discovered her puppy was missing. This must have been what the stranger had in his arms! Sickened by this act of atrociousness, Kayla became determined to unravel the mystery. She asked around the village about the couple, as she thought she ought to find somebody who had a motive. Though when inquiring about the Blakemans, *the subject was hastily changed by many. Being the only person who saw the crime, she poured over the ground of the luxurious front yard in hope she would find something. Anything. Yet the only piece of evidence she could find from the garden was a lonely strand of purple straw. Suddenly, realisation came flooding over her… the only person in the village who wore this in his hat was the most unlikely person to commit such a crime. Her father……
By Alex Woodcock
*Passive Voice
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you for highlighting your use of passive voice Alex. I like your variety of sentence starters and your use of expanded noun phrases. Lovely control of KS2 punctuation. Good girl for double checking your spelling. A great contribution.
LikeLike
Fran, Freya,Ava and Katie had just solved the biggest case of all time.It all started yesterday morning when they went to a pet shop to buy some puppies for bait, followed by the wait into the night. As the sun fell Fran and Freya went to set up some robber alarms whilst Katie and Ava sat down the puppies. The area around them was a square so the set up an alarm in every entrance also with a CCTV camera so they knew who he looked like. CRASH! Everyone was awoken up by the robber. Ava, Katie and Freya rushed down stairs to see what was happening, whilst the police were called by Fran. Out off the corner of Ava’s eye, she could see a sack on the robbers back. Suddenly, the police came and blocked the exit so he was trapped. All the dogs where taken by the robber. but still he romes the streets so who knows he could be her tomorrow.
LikeLiked by 1 person
A variety of sentence starters Katie. Watch out for were/where. I can see evidence of passive sentences.
LikeLike
Fran, Ava,Katie and Freya where inches off solving a huge case and the had to come up with a master plan to solve it.
In the night they where all woken up by the sound of a house alarm and and a lot of WOOF WOOF WOOFING when they looked out the window they saw the strangest thing ever. A barking sack was being carried by a robber. Something was definitely wrong. Fran, Ava and Katie went down to check it out while Freya stayed upstairs and watched the CCTV footage. The sacks were being carried and thrown into a truck by the robber.
The police were called by Ava but as soon as the robber saw them show up he ran to the truck and started the engine. The police managed to unhook the back and the puppies fell out like an avalanche. The truck was driven off by the robber. However, they still got the dogs back.
But who knows when he will strike again? You might not be safe.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I like your tone Fran ‘inches off’
Good use of a passive sentence ‘the truck was driven off/away by the robber’ Well done.
LikeLike
Thief in town
Oliver, Cormac, Joe and Sam where so close solving a huge case and the had to come up with a master plan to solve it.
In the night they were all woke by the sound of a house alarm dinging off like a dog, when they looked out the window they saw strange things like a person. A huge lump of something was being carried by a robber. They know that something was definitely wrong. They went down to check it out while Sam stayed upstairs and watched the CCTV footage. The sacks were being carried and thrown into a truck by the robber.
The police were called by Cormac but as soon as the robber saw them show up he ran to the truck and started the engine but one thing the robbers didn’t know the undercover police car pulling up be hide them. The police managed to shot a mini dart on to the van and then the van drove away no knowing he was being track every move by the police. However, blocking his way was police roadblock ahead.
But who knows if he will escape the police now? Will everyone be safe, no one knows but the thief his self?
LikeLiked by 1 person
A story packed full of action Oliver. Make sure you read your work to discover errors. Excellent use of a cohesive device.
LikeLike
Smash! A window cracked open James and Jack flew wide awake they ran down stairs and saw a glimpse of someone taking lots of puppies in a cage. They slowly crept behind him whilst calling the police but know one answered it was up to them to get everybody’s puppies back. when they got to his house they saw lots of puppies barking for help. He took them away from their owners. He kidnapped them and he was phoning people in Australia to sell them. He has been kidnapping puppies for weeks. They just ran into the house and the police came they picked up all the puppies and returned them. Meanwhile the kidnapper got put in jail. Everyone was so happy that they all got their puppies back. But would he return?
LikeLiked by 1 person
A good way to start with action Freddie. Be careful for those little errors Freddie: no one.
I hope he doesn’t return.
LikeLike
My gang and I crept in the shadows. Someone had stolen the puppies, my palms where sweating we heard a yelp WOOF WOOF. Someone was in the shadows we slid across to a lamppost that was glowing in the dark voices could be heard. The wind was howling of the wind disturbed me while my head was whirring with an idea of how we could get the puppies back.
Suddenly, I got some rope and tied it to the lamppost head and i swung myself onto the gate, I got my second piece of rope I lassoed it onto the handle of the bag and I tugged as hard as i could and…
I did it my forehead was sweating because i had to be as low as i could our mission was completed.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Who was the perpetrator Kate? I like the way you describe your setting and character to give your writing depth. Remember to use a capital I for your pronoun I.
LikeLike
First I asked all, the people that had their puppies stolen some questions
“Where were you” “What were you doing” then I searched the houses for clues and heard a boom outside I ran to the kitchen window and saw a old stinky car driving away I followed it to a misderius place I wondered where it was going so I slowed down a bit and it stopped at an old house.
I saw the door being unlocked by the robber and he went in I quickly went to the car and opened the boot got the puppies out and ran back to my neighbours.
I rang the police and finally they went to the house and arrested the robber.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Who was it Erin? You are a master of passive voice, can you use an example in your story?
LikeLike
It is claimed that several puppies have been stolen this week. So I’m here to investigate. Let’s examine the evidence at hairy hound hill. My first suspect was Miss Sheila O’Shea, the first thing I noticed that she was collecting shark bones, they were everywhere. No wonder, the beach wasn’t even a drive away. As I looked out of the window I saw a dog eating a bone. I had noticed that the sofa was full of scratches and dog hair but not just one type of dog hair, millions! I had also noticed that there was about 40 locks on a storage cupboard could this be the end of the case…
LikeLiked by 1 person
An interesting style Isabelle. Miss O’Shea is an interesting character. Have you used a passive sentence?
LikeLike
Everyone met at the central park in town, so I set about with an action plan, firstly I announced a meeting with all of the puppy owners, friends and neighbourhood. We decided to plaster posters everywhere saying a reward would be given who could find the thief (luckily everyone donated towards the reward £1000!) All were told to look for clues at each of the crime scenes and meet back later that day, we were all on a mission to find the puppy snatcher.
Tom and James headed back to their home on Cherry Lane in search for anything they could find to get their puppy called Bobby back. James told Tom to look around Bobby’s bed whilst he looked around his bowl. Suddenly James found a really strange very long, very curly strand of hair? “who’s hair is this?” said James, they both looked closely and thought about who has this type of hair. Both of their parents had dark hair as they did so they carefully put in a box and quickly walked back to the central park in town and told everyone what they had found. Mr and Mrs Salt had found the same hair in their dog chair, as well as Mrs Thompson had found in her flowerbed at the front door but with an additional red ribbon.
Everyone went quiet for a moment then out shouted Billy from No.4 Cherry Lane “Lucy, where’s Lucy?”
Lucy was a little 8 year old girl who was very shy, had long golden hair and usually had a red ribbon in just like the one found.
At that moment they ran with a shimmy to No.4, in a rush the people crowded the garden, “shhhh!” muttered Tom. A little woof and a little squeak then a small voice was heard from the bottom of the garden shed. James carefully opened the door and Bobby leaped out licking his face and all the other puppies were safe and sound and happy to see their owners.
Lucy apologised to everyone and explained that hse wanted to take care of the dogs as she wasn’t allowed her own.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Well done Joe, you have worked hard on your blog. Excellent use of inverted commas and parentheses. An interesting story with a beginning, middle and end.
LikeLike
There was a case to be solved… and this case would change his life.
Jumping over bins, running through the streets, there was a dark dark shadow with a large bin bag that had hundreds of thousands of loud barking noises. It awoke the whole street including Jeffrey, a small but unique little kid who could do a back and front flip of any wall, that’s what he is known for… but anyway Jeffrey heard the noise and came rushing like a gissel down the stairs. He knocked over the vases that his mum had collected, and opened the window.The black shadow was at the window and he had a bag of ppppp PUPPIES! This was outrageous and he must be stopped.
The man rushed out from the window and darted down the street. Jeffrey was eager to stop him in his tracks and to save the puppies. So he ran as fast as he could towards him but he couldn’t catch up with him. The man was getting away. Jeffrey had tried his best, but decided the only option left was to go back and phone the police. Hopefully the police would catch up with him and save the puppies.
LikeLiked by 1 person
A lovely opening sentence to get the reader’s attention. Outrageous! I’m glad Jeffrey was on hand to help solve the problem. Very good language choices: eager, option
LikeLike
Ben and his friends Jessica, Fran and Lauren were playing on bikes when suddenly they heard a distant house alarm and some barking. The friends discussed what was going on and decided to go and investigate. When they eventually found the house they could see a broken door and clumps of puppy fur in the garden. The keen eyed gang followed the trail of fur and eventually found that it led to an old abandoned warehouse. Whilst creeping round the grounds and trying to work out what was going on, the group unexpectedly heard muffled barking a van engine starting and the creaky old warehouse doors slowly opened. All of a sudden the van being driven by a robber appeared. The puppies were being secretly moved! Lauren called the police, and they came with their sirens and flashing lights flashing. The police were grateful for the gangs help and all the puppies were taken back to their owners.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I like ‘the keen eyed gang’ the expanded noun phrase makes your writing interesting. An accomplished piece of writing Ben.
LikeLike
After the police had called of the search for the robber James, Malaki and Jacob decided to start their own investigation. Looking for clues, James noticed lots of tyre rubber left on the road…… That night James and Malaki were watching the CCTV footage. The dogs were definitely stolen by the robber and they saw he had a Lamborghini, which the robber drove off wildly (which explained the rubber in the road.)
Suddenly James’ dog was barking madly, the house alarm went off. Malaki called the police and James stopped the robber. The police came and arrested the robber and were so pleased with their effort they gave him the Lamborghini! The police went on to follow the rubber drift marks around town and found they led to house with more stolen dogs. In the end everyone got their dogs back but you never know the robber could be out of prison soon and he could turn up anywhere.
LikeLiked by 1 person
A clear story line James with a beginning, middle and end. Your writing has lots of opportunities to use a passive sentence James – take a look.
LikeLike
Thief in town By darcey
Katie got up because she heard a noise at 12:00 at night. Someone in bogland ,England was still awake , so she call her friends to go and find out what was happening
They all met up at Josh’s house and walked of to the pet shop because Katie heard some noise from there. Katie looked there and the was 5 missing puppy’s so she called 999 at first but they wouldn’t answer so she would have to do it herself so that what she did she saw some bubble marks on the floor so she followed them leading to an old abandoned house when no one ever goes on Katie, josh , fran , and Emily entered the house and split up and Emily found this old man sleeping with a bag beside him with the gas fire lithe had the puppies we knew it so we bring the puppies back and the man got arrested because he stole the puppies
In 2075 Emily , fran, Katie, and josh ran the littlest pet shop in bogland England and the animal never got stole again
LikeLiked by 1 person
The crack team of investigators, Sam, Oliver and Joe, arrived at the stately manor home shortly after the pup-napper made his getaway. These nosy lot snooped around the house and found a broken vase, an empty box of cigars and half a collar. Whilst they muttered amongst themselves, a wee pup came whimpering out from behind the fireplace. They didn’t see it at first but then Sam’s trousers were tugged on by the wee pup and startled him. Then the other two were poked by Sam to tell them that he had found a wee doggy. Sam, otherwise known as Sam Hane, couldn’t hold it in much longer so he confessed. It turned out that the pups had been pinched by Sam and hidden behind the fire place. Once out, the two took Sam to prison and they got moved up to higher investigators and all’s well that ends well. Well, except for Sam Hane though, right? HA HA HA HA I’LL BE BACK…
LikeLiked by 1 person
The puppy case was on… Nayana, Darcey and Alex had a crime to solve.
On the cobble streets of London, Nayana met up with her friends and they all were ready to complete their mission. The police were to tired of attemping to find the thief. So they gave up, the gang
(Nayana, Darcey and Alex.) all knew how special the puppies were to thier nighbourhood, eventhough everyone bullied and picked on them they had the heart of a lion. In that week no one ever talked to them and when they all walked past they just laughed and laughed and thought that they would go in crying but instead they knew all they were trying to do was make theirselves look cool. All the puppies were bieng looked for by the gang. Slowly, the sun started to sleep and everyone went in exept Nayana, Darcey and Alex. They would not rest until they found the puppies.
All of a sudden they saw a sudden shadow some one was there and they hadnt just come. They heard a bark and they ran…
LikeLiked by 1 person
I was awakened by the sight of blue lights flashing through the small gap in my curtains.Confused, I lay there for
a while before getting up and dressed ready to go to investigate. I went outside only to find my friends already out,ready to find out what was going on. Mrs Parker was stood on her doorstep, sobbing. She kept whispering, ” I can’t tell her, I just can’t tell her. She is going to be heartbroken.” It turns out, Mrs Parkers daughter, Zoe, had just got a new puppy for her birthday and it had been stolen , as had many other puppies in the neighbourhood. As the police were interviewing some of the owners of the stolen puppies,I spotted a tall shadow slithering into a slim alleyway and quickly nudged my friends. They
knew immediately that we needed to follow it to track down where it was going. We followed the nimble shadow as it swerved through the darkness and it came to a standstill by a battered, wooden hut. We could hear a soft whimpering coming from inside and we knew instantly that it was the stolen puppies in there.” Look,”
whispered my friend ” They have left the key on the outside !”.As quick as a flash I turned the key- leaving the owner of the shadow locked inside-and grabbed it before racing off to find the police. The puppies had been saved by us!
LikeLiked by 1 person